While watching Alton Brown make tzatziki sauce on Good Eats:
Me: There are a bunch of places to get Greek yogurt around here.
Wee: Made with the milk of 70 virgins!
Me: Um.
Wee: OK. That's not true at all.
Me: Really.
Wee: (Pause.) And I guess virgins don't have milk.
Me (from hallway outside of Bill's office): I wonder where I put the ornament box?
Bill: Man moves a dog's face with a banana patch!
Me: .....?
Bill: Perhaps you put it back in the garage.
The other day Bill brought home from work two of the tiniest apples I've ever seen. He's been bugging me to eat them, but I want to take pictures of them first. This morning we were discussing their cuteness again, and I started sniffing one.
"What are you doing?"
"Smelling it."
"That's not going to work. They don't smell until you bite them." Pause. "Like puppies."