The Japanese are from space -- or they might as well be. They have a way of thinking (viz sausage octopus) that is truly strange to Western people. This is spectacularly true when one looks at a traditional Western item which is in use in Japan. (No, not that kind of item!) For example, most Americans know what pizza is, what it tastes like, etc. You can go from Seattle to Tampa, find a pizza joint, order a pie, and expect pretty much a narrow variation on the same theme. Pizza is pizza all across the country. Pizza is even pizza in England, Australia, Israel, Mexico, etc. (and no, Macedonian egg and lard pizza doesn't count). But not in Japan. No, most certainly not in Japan.

They have Dominos Pizza in Japan, just like in England, Israel, etc. But their pizza is not quite what one expects. Ask 100 Americans, Brits, Aussies, Spaniards, whomever what a Dominos pepperoni pizza is and you'll get 100 accurate descriptions. Ask that same group what Sumibiyaki Chiki-Teri pizza is and you'll get 100 vague stares. Ask them what a Margherita pizza is and you'll get those same stares. Ask them "Have you ever had a Tuna Delight pizza?" and you'll get those same stares.

Keep in mind, this is Dominos we're talking about. It's not like we're screwing with Big Macs or anything. I haven't even mentioned the half-meter-long pizzas with corn and shrimp and mustard and seaweed yet. Or other places that serve pizzas with names like "Golden Triple Corn" and "New Funky" and "Nasu Meat" and, my personal favorite, "Pizza-La Ebi-Mayo". Ask 100 people what "Nasu" tastes like and see what answers you get. Nothing like the answers for sausage or beef or even squid, I bet. Ever had a pizza with mayonnaise on it? Yeah. You need no more evidence that the Japanese are from space than a mayonnaise, potato, bacon, onion, corn, tomato sauce and double cheese pizza.

I rest my case.