A while back, I wrote two entries which went against the intended purpose of this web site. The posts were honest opinions of certain events surrounding my tenure at a previous employer, and were also perhaps a not-so-flattering (but nonetheless truthful) take on some of the people who worked there. I have removed these posts and will not restore them (indeed, the actual content has been deleted, and I have no copies or archives). I did not censor myself, nor did I remove them at the request of anyone involved. On the contrary, I've been asked by several people (some of whom were tangentially involved with the now unmentioned events) to put them back. I won't do this. As I've said, the posts did not fit the purpose of this site and writing them in the first place was a mistake. That I'm writing this entry at all is evidence of that. Let me explain why I feel this is so.

This site was originally intended to be a place where I could write things down, get thoughts out, save geek stuff, annotate what would otherwise be bookmarks, sort ideas, try new things, and rant and rave in whatever direction my fairly off-kilter mind took me. It was also originally intended for "internal" use, and was in fact originally "installed" on an internal, non-public server. After a while, I had some people say that they wouldn't mind having access to the stuff that I had written. My wife and I decided, almost on a lark, to register this domain and start putting things on it.

The "site" was repurposed into something more public; anyone who happened upon it was free to look at whatever they wanted. It grew over time and people came to know about it but we never advertised or promoted this site. In fact I've never even linked to it from anywhere (there are no links back to here from my "primary" domain 27.org, for instance). I don't even think my family knows about it (one of my brothers might; I'm not sure). Most of the people I know have no idea it exists, actually. It's not that I don't want anyone to know about it, it's just that there really isn't any good reason for telling them; I don't think they'd care all that much. I suppose I'm just apathetic in the matter, or maybe I'm not conceited enough to think they'd want to read anything I've written. What I'm saying is that anything here is for me and me alone. I have no other intended audience.

At the risk of repeating myself once again, the common thread running through the idea and motive behind this site is that it is ultimately for me and nobody else. This is a key concept.

As you can guess from looking at the search terms list to the right, I have a habit of looking through the web server logs with various automatic processes. Forewarned is forearmed, even from a non-security standpoint, and looking through logs is good practice to get into. So when I happened to find out that there were more than a couple visitors from my former employer, I decided to take a closer look at what was going on. Turns out that just before those visits, unknown person(s) from a certain distinct area of the U.S. had found my posts while searching for the names of my former co-workers. Instantly, those posts I made were for someone else, and being used by someone else. This was bad -- and more than a little upsetting. I felt like a powerless and unwitting accomplice to whatever their actions happened to be, and had no idea what damage others were doing using what I wrote. My thoughts were being used without my will against other people, in a battle in which I not only could not stay out of but couldn't even choose which side to be on (assuming I even wanted to be involved at all). This was a startling experience and something of a wakeup call for me to re-examine what I am doing here. I don't have an editorial "mission", not in the slightest, but clearly something was amiss.

I wrote what I wrote because I had strong feelings about the subject. At the time I wrote those posts, I had just been reminded of extremely distasteful events which I'd tried, mostly successfully up to that point, to forget about. So as a cathartic of sorts, I wrote about those events. I wrote the truth, as far as I knew it, along with my opinions and how I felt. Those who are familiar with the events generally agree with my interpretations. I still hold those opinions. If asked, I'll volunteer them and give the same recollection of what happened and why. I won't do it online, however.

I have rarely written about work. I rarely write about friends or family. I don't write about me all that much. I don't even swear in my posts (those of you that know me will recognize the contrast between the online and the conversational). Now you know why. I don't want to have to second-guess myself, or worry about what someone else might think if I happen to mention them. It's hard enough for me to not be uncouth and stubborn and asocial and indiscreet and sarcastic in person without immortalizing people in what someone might see as harsh online words. I really have no urge to harm or offend anyone, and if you ask anyone who knows me, they'll likely say I'm the most helpful person they know -- helpful to a fault, probably. When I wrote those posts, I was in a bad spot, mentally. I forgot what it is I do here. My posts didn't reflect who I am or what I'm about as much as they didn't reflect what this site is about; they did both a disservice. So they had to go.

Call it caving to internal pressure, but after thinking about it for a while, I feel that there's enough ill will in this world without actively creating more.

And that is all I'm going to say about the subject.