The last couple weeks, I've been thinking about getting a new vehicle. I love my Tacoma, and it runs like a champ. Sixty thousand miles and the only thing I've had to do to it is normal preventative maintenance. It's just getting a little old is all. And I honestly don't need a truck all that much. It's been handy to haul things, but I'd like to have an enclosed space instead of an open truck bed. I was going to get a shell for the truck, but they're pretty expensive. That got me thinking about my old Jeep Cherokee. I could fit a lot of stuff in it -- probably as much as I could in my truck if it had a shell.

I happened to see a Toyota 4Runner on the way to work one morning. Then that got me thinking about my old Jeep. I figure I can haul nearly as much in a 4Runner. And it's already enclosed. Plus, I can haul two more people if I need to. I won't be able to haul weird-sized stuff or stuff headed for the dump, but that's a trade-off I can live with. Leaves and junk I can put out with the trash and they recycle it. I have a Sawzall for anything else that won't fit into the dumpster.

I shelved the thought until I got a letter from a dealership here in town who wants late 90's Tacomas with six cylinder engines and four wheel drive. Which I have. I'm nearly positive that letter is nothing more than an enticement to get me into the dealership to buy (or lease) a new truck, but if they'll give me good cash, then I'm game.

So I went on the web and started looking around at Toyotas, just window shopping. I've been convincing myself that I don't really need a new car, but it never hurts to look. And then I saw one of the options the 4Runner comes with. Yeah: touch-screen GPS navigation. In the dash. It's K.I.T.T. fer cryin' out loud. How can you not like that?! I'm completely and totally hooked now.

I'm a bad, bad consumer. But I'm trying very hard to resist. But that isn't working too well. I'm conflicted. "It's only two throusand extra. You can swing that," says the little red guy on the left shoulder. "But you already have a nice Garmin GPS with a cig plug adapter (which also has a serial cable so you can plug it into your Thinkpad). And you have a portable dash mount for it. It works perfectly well," says the white guy on the right shoulder. To which the red guy replies, "That's a handheld model; it's a different animal altogether." "And what the hell do animals have to do with anything?!?" "You know, you little white angel dudes aren't supposed to swear. The Big Guy frowns on that shit. Knock it off or I'm telling." "Bah! Get bent..."

They've been at it for two days now:

Red: Lookee here, nizzle: the touch screen is undoubtably the shizzle. Yo.
White: Ok there, DJ Jazzy Wee. The handheld GPS unit you already own works just fine for what you need to do.
Red: My 'Nilla...
White: Ok, stop that.
Red: Bling bling.
White: Quit! You're far too white nerd for that gangsta business. Stop it before you embarass us any further.
Red: Uh huh, whatevah. So the handheld model you have. Does it by chance have a touch screen? Is it easy to see in the daylight? Is it voice-activated? Does it jiggle on that hinky dash mount or is it in-dash? Surrounded by buttons to fiddle with?
White: Well, no. But does it really need to be?
Red: It does if you want to be cool. Eric would think it's cool.
White: Cool?!? Eric's a medical doctor, he can afford cool! You're just a computer geek, and only want the touch screen because it's a gadget.
Red: Well no shit, Captain Obvious. Of course I want it because it's a gadget! Eric would get the DVD screen for sure.
White: I think you'd be a lot cooler if you were 2 large richer and dependant on a very fine handheld model GPS.
Red: But you make payments on that 2 grand. It's not like you have to walk down and buy it with cash from the ATM.
White: So you pay interest on it, huh? Smart...
Red: Sell some of that QCOM that's been laying around doing nothing.
White: You don't sell something that will likely appreciate over time for something that will depreciate immediately! That's dumb.
Red: What a wack-job. That stock was rainy-day money. It's non-necessary for daily living. It's play money. Put it to work. It's not like to have to sell all of your stock.
White: But it's peace of mind money, too. When you need a few thousand, it's there.
Red: It's stock. There's no guarantees that it'll be worth squat in two years. Sell it.
White: You'll regret it. You're already feeling small bits o' guilt about buying a new car when you don't really need one...
Red: Do the right thing: get the Limited. You're already spending a lot, why not a little more for that much more value? You'll get a better resale too.
White: You know the Sport model has that X-REAS suspension.
Red: Doh!
White: Heh heh. And you know you'll get use out of that.
Red: And if you check Toyota's options page you'll see that the kicking undercarriage is an option on the Limited, too.
White: Stop! Enough of this nonsense. You're talking about a $37,000 vehicle at this point. Get real, man! That's waaaay too much and you know it. Yeah, you could buy the car, and you could pay it off just fine, but do you really want $600 a month car payments on a 72 month loan? Nix the touch screen and Limited options, and as a concession get the Sport with a couple other toys. That's reasonable. And you also get built-in justifcation for Tess on the entire purchase.
Red: Damn you. Damn you straight to Hades you do-goody, no-account blankety-blank white shoulder dude.
White: Boo-yah. Who's your daddy? Punk-ass bitch...

So I'm thinking now that the Sport model would be fine. With the 10-way surround sound audio system and the retracting moonroof. And maybe the double-decker cargo deal that slides up out of the floor.