I came across the Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair 2001 page just a couple minutes ago, and I can't stop laughing. With "experiments" like 'My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)', 'Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria', and 'Women Were Designed For Homemaking', you know there's some hard science going down. I really wanted to see the descriptions from some of the honorable mentions; they were even funnier. I especially wanted to know more about the 'Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False' and 'Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire' experiments.
I thought for sure it was a gag site. But it looks like it's legitimate. Which just makes it all the more hilarious. Be sure to vist their store. Where else can you get a Ruby Matrimony Thong? And if you can spare the time, go take a look at a site they link to for a Christian rock band called Zounds YRM. Sadly, they have no MP3 downloads or anything of that sort (they're "coming soon"), so I'll never get to hear the smoove crooning of Pastor Skeet Hoskins. Although I really want a pair of Zounds Abstinence Shorts -- mostly because of the name, but also to go with the matrimony thong.
When I clicked the link to the
"Science Fair" page, I got redirected to google...?
I was able to get to the store, though. The underwear products are great, but what I really want is a "Mr. Gruff" coffee mug. You know Mr. Gruff, right - the atheist who loves coffee instead of God? There's a dude with his horns screwed on straight. I've never had the Spirit move me in the same way as a good stout cuppa joe on a sleepy morning...
Actually, it's a tossup between that and the Habu tote bag (http://www.cafeshops.com/objectivemin.2019725) - "I got so many gods I don't know who to turn to!" That pesky polytheism - it's just too darned complicated! If only our grocery stores would take a lesson from Jesus, and only carry one brand of everything so their customers aren't confused and frightened by having to choose between many brands! If I were Christian, I'd be insulted by the implication... Simple-minded? Choose Jesus!
I was also able to get to an alternate website via the store link, "http://objective.jesussave.us". Reading through it, I still can't decide if these people are for real or if it's an elaborate hoax. They said, for example, that they moved their site off a host's server because of a dispute over how many nails were used to tag Jesus to the cross...? Buh? No... this shite's gotta be a hoax. Really.
Pretty funny either way, though.
Posted by Tess at July 14, 2003 4:21 PMI fixed the link in the original post. Oops.
I don't see how it *can't* be a hoax. Nobody can be that deluded. Although I can recall more than a couple things that happened during my formative years while attending Scottsdale Christian Academy that would led me to believe that it might not be a joke site. (High on that list would be my "science" teacher noting that lizards never stop growing, which coupled with the supposed blockage of UV rays by the thick atmosphere present before the flood, could explain the existence -- and disappearance -- of the dinosaurs. People who belive things like that would probably believe that prayer can have an impact on the reproduction of bacteria.)
You're right: Either way, it's still pretty damn funny.
Alex, it's because of assholes like you that I don't have HTML turned on.
Posted by wee at October 23, 2003 9:13 AM