So I just noticed that PHP's < a href="http://php.he.net/manual/en/function.date.php">date() fucntion will let you convert dates and times into something called Swatch Internet Time. Can someone tell me what the hell is up with this? Did I miss that memo which said the current UTC/GMT/Zulu time system that everyone and their bank uses isn't working? Did we need a new time system?
And what's up with dividing the day into 1,000 "beats"? One thousand is a really stupid number to use. Computers don't think in units of ten. People do, but divide the day into three equal work shifts if you don't believe me when I say 1,000 beats per day is just a moronically arbitrary number. Someone wasn't thinking when they came up with that one. You'd think a watch company would understand how time works.
Seriously, can anyone look at a normal analog clock and figure out what time it is in Swatch Time? No? You mean you can't figure the number of minutes from midnight in Switzerland and then divide by 86.4 to get the current time in beats? You can't do that? Idiot. You're not part of the digerati. You should just buy a if you want to tell time like all the cool people do.
The word "hoodwink" just popped into my head. Oh wait... so did "swindle". Nope, now I've moved one to "hornswaggle" and "bamboozle". OK, I've settled on plain old "scam".
Swatch Internet Time. A more completely pure load bullshit you will not find.
The Swatch thing is now obselete. From now on we'll be basing time on me. We'll call it E-Time, and I shall decide what "time" it is. Sometimes it'll be "Lunchtime" others, "Quittin' Time" and yet others, "Nap Time."
Purchasing a reasonably priced $100/yr lease on the knowledge of my phone number will give you access to a)me and the current time or b)a message stating what time it was when I last checked my messages and what time it likely will be by the time I call you back.
Posted by E at September 15, 2003 11:52 AMEric, you're my hero. Bravo. Double points for fleecing the unwashed. Well met.
What time is it? Time for a cold one?
Posted by wee at September 17, 2003 12:57 AMI'd tell you what time it was when you posted that, but you hadn't purchased your Time-EULA yet.
Posted by E at September 19, 2003 1:53 PMTime for Timer!
A hanker for a hunka, a slab, a slice, a chunka, I haker for a hunk o'cheese. Ya-hoo!
Posted by Tess at September 22, 2003 10:02 PM