Well this is just great news. The FBI knows that I went through Las Vegas over Christmas. Can't be too careful. Them pesky holiday travelers might do any number of things. Best to keep tabs on us -- just in case. I'm sure any sane judge would agree. Oh, wait. No judge need be consulted anymore. How con-veeeen-yent...

I wonder if they've correlated my past travel data with my book-buying habits or grocery purchases at Von's. Makes me want to fly to Mexico, buy a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook online, and then order all the normal household chemicals needed to make a stupidly ineffectual bomb. But then (secretly!), I'd throw that dumbass book away, plant chiles, fertilize my garden and clean my windows with the stuff instead -- just to stick it to The Man. Maybe then I might even -- gasp -- buy an almanac afterwards. Yeah, that would show 'em!

It's like Ashcroft's taking pages out of the Geheime Staatspolizei playbook or something...