I wish I could propose legislation. I would offer a bill which states that if anyone within the United States wishes to adapt a comic book character into a movie, they must first consult with Christopher Nolan and David Goyer, or they won't be allowed to make their movie.

Backing up, I was casting about for something to do today and decided to go out, get a hamburger and read a book. And then for lack of anything better to do after I'd exhausted those fine mid-day activities, I walked into the theater to catch the next showing of Batman. It's kind of nice to be able to walk into a theater and not really have to care about making plans or anything. You just look up at the marquee, look at your watch, and pick a showing. I got lucky and only had to wait like 20 minutes. There's a silver lining everywhere, even in bored loneliness. But I digress...

Batman Begins absofuckinglutely rocks. It kicks all manner of ass.

The best part was that it focused more on the psychological origins than anything else; the battle between the bad guys and Batman is actually a sort of side story. I can't be the only one that always wonders things like "Where'd he come up with the cape, anyway?" when they see a comic book movie. This movie really did a great job of explaining those sorts of origins. Belief needed little suspension.

Another really cool part is that there aren't any super powers in the movie at all. Refreshing. And that extends to the last few lines in the movie. More twisted minds are to come, I hope. I'd say more but I'd spoil the surprise.

But the best part was that there were no nipples to be found anywhere, unlike some other incredibly lame Batman movie I will not name. Well, no nipples unless you count Katie Holmes, I guess.

Who was the only not-so-great part of the movie, incidentally. There's something about her lop-sided facial expression (yes, she just has the one) that really annoys me. Did she have, like, a left cheek accident as a child which left it paralyzed or something? Because a smirk does not acting make. She uses that one single half-grin like Julia Roberts uses a weepy eye, and it gets old after the first 20 minutes.

'Course, what do I know? They're both rich and famous, so they must be doing something right, one-trick ponies or not. Maybe Xenu will help even poor Katie out. Julia, I think, is too far gone. People have come to expect the tearing up from her.