Hey, if you're ever in the mood to self-diagnose, try the Worst Case Scenario site. No more wondering about whether you're gonna die... Have the worst conclusion jumped to for you! To wit:
The Worst Case Scenario system cuts out the leg work by immediately jumping to the most paranoically horrifying disease closely matching your symptoms. There may not be an exact match, but there's always something relatively close and totally panic inducing.
Can't get much clearer than that. After all, why waste all that time with doctors when you're going to be dead soon anyway?
Ha! I'm going to get hold of E's patient contact list somehow and send this link to them.
Posted by Tracy at September 27, 2005 10:54 PMApparently I have tetanus. I don't remember her biting me, but I think I know who gave it to me, rabid b!tch.
Yes, yes you will all die. I at least have a plan. You see, thanks to the miracle of saturated fat and sloth, I'll die in my sleep, or as I pitch forward into a platter of cannoli, with a massive Left Main Coronary Artery lesion. No suffering, no skilled nursing facility. Just me, sailing blithely up to the All-You-Can-Eat Chuck Wagon In The Sky. So long, suckers. Enjoy your ebola, swine flu and enterohemorrhagic e.Coli.
Posted by E at September 30, 2005 4:01 AM