Tess managed to find a b-day gift for me that was at once something I've always wanted and something I had completely forgot that I always wanted: A grappling hook! How fargin' cool is that?! It's a fold-up model, and even came with its own black rope. Super cool!

Who says you have to start getting "old" presents at age 40? I mean, what's to stop and "elderly" guy like myself from wanting his very own grappling hook? I've had my eye on one of those since I was a little kid (for all the obvious reasons) and had forgotten all about it. I mean, I could have bought one for myself by now, but it just ever occurred to me. So in steps the coolest wife a guy could have. And now I have to find things with which to grapple!