So apparently, ponchos are back in style. That's right, people, ponchos. Crocheted, tassled women-doilies with neckholes. This is worse, even, than the tube tunic tops I've seen girls wearing this summer, which can make the most anorexic girl in the world look like she's in her third trimester.
I saw several women wearing ponchos in Las Vegas - when I saw the first one, I thought maybe someone's grandma knit it for them and they wore it so they wouldn't hurt her feelings, or that perhaps they were from some second-world country where women still scrub floors by hand and boil cabbage for breakfast. Then I saw a couple more and realized that it was a bona-fide, fashion-forward trend. The horror. The horror.
Why would anyone purchase and wear these? For fuck's sake, why? Have they no ability to say no to stupid trends? Do they not realize that when designers run out of ideas, they just pull some retro shit out of their ass and fling it at consumers to see whether or not it'll stick?
Well, let me just say, "Bitches, you gotta duck!"
It's time to draw a line in the sand with the latest 70's fashion revivals. Just say no, women of the world! Ugly is NOT just in the eye of the beholder; these monstrosities of fashion are proof of that. They are empirically, emphatically, undeniably ugly. Say no to ponchos. If you see a friend wearing one, have an intervention. Sit them down and make them watch re-runs of the Partridge Family and the Sonny and Cher show until their eyes begin to bleed.
Seriously, they'll thank you later.
That is all.