Yeah, I know I never did the Oscar recap. I know! There are several equally lame reasons why this is the case:
- I was out of town the weekend of the Oscars, and the day we got back, our kitchen remodelling began; so I was distracted and didn't get around to watching the TiVo'd version for a while.
- Even when I started watching it, I sort of ended up watching it in little chunks, so it took me a while to get through, especially since it ran long.
- I forgot to set the TiVo to catch the Red Carpet pre-show stuff, and that's at least half the fun, since that's when we get to cast judgement people's fashion choices (I confess that my opinion of a lot of the lady-stars' outfits seems to often boil down to "on a scale of Penthouse to National Geographic, how does the outfit make her rack look?" Everything else is peripheral.).
- By the time I got through it, I realized that it was one of the most boring award shows I've ever witnessed, and I was uninspired to write about most of what I saw, and besides, it seemed like I'd be coming to the party way too late.
Yes, I took notes, but they're sparse. Still, I guess in the interests of closure, I'll throw out a few half-assed comments:
- I thought Ellen DeGeneres did a pretty sweet job as host - she stuck to her folksy, gee-whiz shtick, and I think it's good she didn't try to employ any of the kind of edgy, roast-style humor that prior hosts have used to variable success.
- I liked the concept of the special-effects chorus, but they were way too hard to hear.
- It's fun, on TiVo, when you fast-forward while the winners are walking up to the podium, and everyone starts clapping really fast. This was about the most thrilling experience I had during this show.
- How was James McAvoy not ever cast as a Hobbit? Dude, he should totally be young Bilbo Baggins! Who do I call for that now that Peter Jackson's been cut out of the gig?
- I thought the silhoutte dance troupe thing was clever. They did penguins! And Snakes on a Plane! And the shoe for Devil Wears Prada - the shoe with the pitchfork heel. Awesome.
- Ben Affleck must sure be proud of the way Matt Damon's career has taken off. Damned proud. As goddamned proud as a guy can be whose crappy agent just hasn't been pounding the boards hard enough lately to score some decent offers although it doesn't really matter because he's totally working on a kick-ass screenplay and he's been happy to have more time to spend with his baby girl anyway so why doesn't everyone back the fuck off with all the talk about career tailspins, alright? Fuck Damon and his sellout spy-movie franchise!
- The screenwriter montage was pretty awesome. Then again, what topic is easier for writers to write about than writing?
- The Ellen Oscar Bjorn was pretty funny. It reminded me of the wine glass sling they give out at wine festivals. Which is one of the awesomest inventions ever, since it lets you devote one hand for snacks and one hand to money. God, I love food and wine festivals. Anyway. Funny.
- If Children of Men couldn't win for cinematography, I'm glad Pan's Labyrinth did. But dammit, CofM still should've won. Robbed, that movie was this year.
- Clint Eastwood introduces Ennio Marconi, king of the spaghetti western soundtrack: "Who wouldn't want to ride into town with music like that behind him?" (Upon hearing the distinctive warbly score for 'A Fistful of Dollars':) "You know what's great? I'm in this movie!" Plus: who knew Eastwood could throw down with some extemporanous Italian translation? Pretty impressive for a (still hot) senior citizen.
- I'm really sad that Robert Altman is dead.
OK, that's about all I feel like saying about that. Not a stellar Oscar year, all told. Here's hoping someone, somewhere, is poised to bring back a little of the good old fashioned Crazy, or at least the Charmingly Eccentric, to next year's show.