On Sunday Bill and I drove up to L.A. to see our new nephew, Luke Carter Smith (named such under protest from his sister Lizzy, who lobbied hard for tagging him "Frosty"). Luke is, quite predictably, adorable � Mandy and Zac are 3-for-3 as far as perfect procreativity. (Check out http://www.zacsmith.com for ample pictoral proof).
Mandy went through a somewhat complicated delivery � she deserves enormous credit for her endurance and courage in bearing the physical toll of bringing these kids into the world; none of her three pregnancies and births have been anything close to easy. Zac always jokes that �Mandy�s a rock�, but he�s more right about that than I think even he realizes. She�s bounced back from major surgery every time with nowhere near the fuss as she�d be absolutely entitled to make - if anything, it's tough to keep her from doing more than she should.
Beyond that, she�s simply one of the best moms I�ve ever known. She is patient and attentive and informed; her kids are smart and well-mannered and happy in a way that makes it obvious how cared-for and secure they are. Of course Zac deserves a ton of credit as well, since he�s a wonderful, devoted dad � but parenting is Mandy�s full-time job (anyone who doubts that hers is a �real job� is either ignorant or deluded; if anything, it�s a triple-shift every day, since mothers like her are rarely ever off-duty), and the sheer effort she puts into it is clear to anyone who knows their family. As young and inexperienced as they were when they became parents, both Mandy and Zac have taken on their roles with complete dedication and determination to provide the best for their kids and make their needs a priority in all that they do; I respect the hell out of what they've accomplished. If only all parents were so competant and caring... Anyway, we're thrilled to welcome our newest family member into the world. It will be a joy to watch him grow and see what sort of person he becomes.
And Bill�s right... clean newborn baby heads smell better than just about anything in the world. We were huffing poor L.C.'s fontanel like bored secretaries with a fresh bottle of White-Out. Hopefully it won't be too long before we're getting the hookup from our own zoomer...
Yesterday I was inexplicably blue; this morning I am equally inexplicably happy. The world seemed like a sad place yesterday, but this morning it seemed happy and bright, and I'm grateful for that.
My drive into work was a parade of small lovely scenes � a glowing gold confetti of leaves blowing into the street, the bright green of new wild grass growing on a hill, the drive south down Black Mountain Road seeming soft and pastoral in the hazy morning air. I saw a young dark-haired guy jogging past the new fire station in Mira Mesa in bright turquoise mid-calf pants and a sleeveless black shirt, and he would have been unremarkable except for two things: a tiny Jack Russell terrier running full-bore a meter in front of him; and the bouquet of balloons clutched in his right hand, red and white with one heart-shaped mylar one, flapping against each other in the air behind his head as he ran. The effect was that of a circus clown working out in his civvies. Further down the road at a stoplight, the sideview mirror of the car in front of me reflected a pretty blond-bobbed woman yawning then smiling to herself � I wondered what she was thinking about. I was listening to Jack Johnson, playing the song �Bubbly Toes� repeatedly � it was exactly the right song for the ride. As I sped down Kearny Villa Road on final approach to the Big R, the buoyancy of my mood seemed to be fading a little; so I grabbed the rubber fright teeth from Dave and Buster�s that I�d left in a cubby in my car door after Halloween and put them on, leering at myself in the rear-view mirror. It�s damned hard to be gloomy when one is wearing spooky fright teeth. I'm going to keep 'em around for contingency purposes.
So yeah, I�m in a silly mood, but I�ll take it any day over the gloom of yesterday.
It's my first day back to work, and I'm struggling against a mean case of the blues. I'm not sure if it's attributable to post-holiday letdown, or the hangover of two weeks of regular overindulgence of various sorts, or the sheer annoyance of coming back to the Big R and the piles of work and problems and managerial oppression. Probably a combination of all of these things, I guess. I'm just finding it terribly difficult to concentrate on what I need to do. I probably should try harder to focus on being grateful for having a good stable job - with optional window cubicle, for Pete's sake - what the hell do I have to complain about? Sadly, whining doesn't seem to make any of the issues I have go away, so I need to figure out how to cheer my ass up and get some stuff done.
It's resolution time as well, and I can think of a lot of them that I'd like to pursue. Basically, I think it all boils down to a matter of consuming less - be it money, food, whatever - and doing more positive things. The holidays were fun, don't get me wrong; but right now I feel like I've washed up on the shore of this New Year as sort of a sodden castaway, amidst a pile of flotsam and jetsam that represents career and body image and finances and household organization. I just need to get it together. New Years represent fresh starts, and I'm really hoping that this one will provide the impetus for me to make some really good changes.
That having been said, we really did have a nice holiday break. Christmas in Phoenix was fun - we got a bunch of great gifts, including a TiVo, which is delightful. Apparently I have earned the dubious distinction of being the Rhodes family wino, as a significant proportion of my gifts from various in-laws had a wine theme - glasses, charms, festive bottle bags, a chiller, right down to wine-scented candles, not to mention the multiple bottles of wine (I think I got about nine bottles total). I can't dispute that I like and will get use out of all these things... but I"m still a little taken aback that at least four different family members chose to present me with wine-related items. Am I really coming off as that much of a lush? Hell, AM I that much of a lush? Back we come to the less-consumption resolution. It seems to be time to reverse the trend a bit.
New Year's was laid-back and fun - Todd and Wy stayed the night, and we played games, watched the ball drop on TV, hopped in the spa, and generally hung out. I like New Years Eves at home. They're much less complicated. Don't have to worry about who's driving home, don't have to deal with drunk drivers, or pay an exorbitant cover charge to hang out in an overcrowded bar with idiots shoving you around as everyone jostles for a good place to stand... I have never yet had a New Year's outing that turned out to be anything but a disappointment compared to the anticipation and sense of "doing something fun" that preceded it. The Flathead show we were at a couple years was fun, granted - but all told, I'm still happier to be home.
OK, I'm going to stop now - I'll check back when I'm in less of a buzzkill mood!